And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
