NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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