Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
