so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
