Just fell off a train. Bad.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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