3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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