i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
