So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
