I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
