At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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