if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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