I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
