I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
