i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
