She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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