Me too!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
