On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
