Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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