Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
