Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize