I am puke
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
