i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
