You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
