Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
