it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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