If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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