its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
