Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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