Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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