He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
