You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize