Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
