he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
