Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize