we're making bets on your personal life
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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