Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
