I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Randomize