We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
