dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
