how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
