i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
