The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
In America we eat man semen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
