No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
