Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
