I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize