In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
