So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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