Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
