So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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