you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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