Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
