Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
