i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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