So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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