My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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