omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
