Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
