so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize