farters have to be the big spoon...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
