i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
