Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
