I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
