She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
