ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
