i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
