I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
