Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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