I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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