i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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